


Still Swimming In A Lover's Dream

by esmereldagrace



Category: Days of Our Lives
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-09 03:48:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14708516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esmereldagrace/pseuds/esmereldagrace
Summary: If there was such a thing as a heart stopping moment, then this was it.Why his gaze had roamed around the room and fell on the one person he so wanted to see again but also never wanted to see again, was a mystery. But it seemed like his heart had led him where he thought there was no chance. That blond head was no coincidence, and maybe his body had been telling him something his heart had known all along.





	Still Swimming In A Lover's Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Oh hello there! Thought I'd dip my toes into this fandom because I'm loving the Will and Paul dynamic, and I wrote this in two days? Fastest I've written ANYTHING in a long time, and it feels so great. It's my first time here, so please be kind, hah!
> 
> The fic is set a couple of years after Will goes back to Sonny (which I really hope doesn't happen on the soap because of reasons but ugh) and there is some unfinished business that needs to be resolved. As you can probably tell, I'm very protective of Paul. ;) 
> 
> This is unbeta-ed and super long so please forgive me for any mistakes, but thank you to some very lovely people (ktbob and BluMagi) who gave me some encouragement and guidance along the way. ♥
> 
> Title of the fic is from the song ['Movie'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUzEYcR2VtM) by Tom Misch. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy! Kudos and/or comments are very welcome if deserved. ♥

 

"Is that her?"

Paul leaned closer to his friend, Elena, narrowing his eyes as he finally caught sight of who she was talking about.

"Looks like it is."

Elena held a hand to her heart. "She's goddamn beautiful."

Paul was in complete agreement. He watched as Ryan gave his girlfriend a drink from the table behind them with the biggest grin on his face, he was obviously completely head over heels in love. It was a feeling Paul had missed more than anything, but a feeling he'd realised would never come knocking on his door again.

However, that bittersweet ache in his heart was replaced with only happiness for his friend.

"She is, but--look at his face, it's like he's glowing. It's sorta sweet actually," Paul said.

"I knew it, I knew you were a romantic."

"Who? Me?" Paul dramatically gasped, earning him a shove of an elbow into his chest which had his mouth fall open for real in pain.

"Yes, you--you idiot. Don't think I haven't seen you cry when you watch romcoms with me, you try to deny it, but I know you Paul Narita."

Paul put his hands up in defeat and laughed. "Fine, I'm not going to deny it, Elena. I cry at romcoms, so sue me."

"Not gonna _sue_ you," Elena grinned slyly, "but I will try and set you up with someone here tonight."

"What? I brought you here as my date, and now you're going to sell me off to someone else?"

"Not selling you off," Elena glanced around the ballroom with intent, "just want you to finally get laid so you'll stop bothering me when you're bored."

Paul rolled his eyes. "I resent that accusation."

Elena waved his comment away. "Oh whatever, you love me. Now stop talking, try not to make it look like we're a couple otherwise no guy is ever gonna try and flirt with you. Plus, this is a charity event which means there will be _rich guys_ here who can treat you like the king you are. You deserve to be swept off of your feet."

"You are unbelievable."

"I know," Elena said with a wink, leaning up to kiss Paul's cheek.

With a flick of her hair, and another flute of champagne in hand, she was off on her mission to find Paul a man. But there wasn't much Paul could do to stop her, not since she'd carved out a space in his life.

After leaving Salem, making California home seemed to be the obvious choice.

There was always going to be a part of him that would miss baseball and the career he'd made for himself afterwards. But after getting his heart broken, all he wanted to do was give, to somehow balance out the pain; and it made perfect sense to give back to a community, to kids.

So after getting the relevant qualifications, and adamant he would work himself up the ladder rather than use his celebrity status for an easy path, he became a PE teacher as well as an athletic director at a high school. His new way of life bringing him all the joy he never thought he'd ever find again.

He found a best friend in Elena who was a science teacher at the school, Ryan, a history teacher, and he'd made friends with all the other teachers with ease. They had no judgements about him, no preconceived notions, and that was all the better. Paul had wanted to start afresh, he'd wanted to build a new life without a shadow of his past casting a negative light over it all. The kids, with their endless optimism and energy, were a blessing in disguise that kept Paul going on his darkest days.

It was safe to say that he was happy, happier than he'd been in a while, happier than he'd ever expected to be. He had a job he loved, amazing friends, and a wonderful social life.

He was content, and wasn't that better than feeling nothing at all?

And this charity fundraiser was another wonderful thing in his life.

It had been highly anticipated, and Paul may have used some of influence to get big money involved, but he wasn't ashamed of it. He'd collaborated on it with a bunch of other charities and non-profits that wanted to get together a program that would give girls and boys from all backgrounds a chance to play whatever sport their heart desired, without having to worry about the cost.

Paul had known that there were many barriers to being a successful sportsperson, and this was a small way to break those barriers down.

But there was only so much talking he could do, and he was more than happy to take a break from having to schmooze with the donors and talk to the journalists. He'd sneaked away with Elena at the right time, finally able to take a breath and grab a drink he'd so desperately needed.

Paul had no idea who Elena was planning on finding, but it wasn't as if he would ever take anyone home with him anyway. He was done with all of that.

Taking one last sip of the champagne, and grabbing a hors d'oeuvre off of the tray, he made his way to his table to have one last look over the speech he'd had to give in just a few minutes.

But his feet came to a halt, his heart stuttered to a stop, when a familiar blond head came across his vision.

It couldn't be, could it?

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath shaking his head, opening them again, the man nowhere to be seen. Paul laughed to himself, scolding his traitorous heart for even thinking of him. He'd thought he was over it. But sometimes his heart and mind gave him away, it was an obvious mistake. Blondes weren't exactly a rare breed around these parts.

With another deep breath, Paul marched on and sat down at his table, grabbing the note cards he'd hid under his plate and gave them a quick once over. Thankfully he wasn't the only one who'd be giving a speech, so he was able to keep it short. But that didn't mean he couldn't be somewhat nervous about it.

And then it was time, Elena had come back from wherever she'd been and sat down next to Paul with a strange smile.

"What is up with your face?" Paul asked, curious. "No rich man for me?"

Elena snorted out laugh, but there was a blush on her cheeks. "No, but I may have found myself someone--gonna catch up with him after the speeches and dinner are over with."

Paul put a hand over his heart, feigning hurt. "And you forgot about me already? I knew it, I can never trust anyone."

"Oh shut up, you." Elena swatted at his arm, but left her hand on his forearm, finally looking serious. "You can always trust me,  you deserve the world--especially after everything. You can rely on me, I promise--I'd never mess you around."

Paul didn't quite have the words to convey his thanks, so instead, put a hand over hers squeezing it, and threw her a soft smile. She gave him another wink before gesturing to the stage where the microphone had been set up.

"You ready?"

Paul took a deep breath with wide eyes. "I'll have to be."

"You'll be great--the kids love you, so why won't these guys?"

"The kids either love me or hate me, I'm their teacher."

Elena rolled her eyes at him this time around. "Then just think of everyone in the room as the kids who love you, and keep that gorgeous smile on your face."  
  
Paul laughed softly, and gave Elena's hand another squeeze. "Thanks, I appreciate that."

"Go get 'em."

With a sigh, Paul made his way onto the stage and happily took the bottle of water proffered to him as he did. He set his note cards on the podium, and the bottle next to them. He chanced a glance Elena's way, who threw him two goofy thumbs up that eased the rolling in his stomach.

It didn't take long for the ballroom to quieten down in anticipation for his speech, and Paul thanked whatever powers above that he didn't have to speak for more than a couple of minutes. But he gave himself a pep talk anyway, clearing his throat, he could do this...he can totally do this.

"Good evening, everyone--my name is Paul Narita and thank you for--"

If there was such a thing as a heart stopping moment, then this was it.

Why his gaze had roamed around the room and fell on the one person he so wanted to see again but also never wanted to see again, was a mystery. But it seemed like his heart had led him where he thought there was no chance. That blond head was no coincidence, and maybe his body had been telling him something his heart had known all along.

Alarm bells were ringing in his head, and after so many years it felt like a tidal wave of relief and sorrow at the same time. A couple of tables away sat the man he thought he might never see again.

Will was here.

 _Will was here_? _Why_?

There was no time to think about the 'why?' of this situation when he realised that he'd stopped talking altogether. Will smiled encouragingly, hesitantly, his way; but Paul had to snap his eyes away from him before he thought or said something he couldn't take back. Looking out over the crowd, somehow his eyes landed on Elena again who was frowning concernedly.

"Go on," Elena mouthed.

Getting his scattered thoughts together and smiling self-deprecatingly, Paul got back on track, apologising quickly, and hoping that what felt like hours was only seconds. He finished his speech in the time allotted to him that ended with a raucous applause, which helped him to feel like he'd done okay, despite the earlier mishap.

The rest of the speeches went by in no time. Paul was listening, but it almost felt like he wasn't there. His mind had gone blank, body numb, and heart still stuttering in his chest.

Why was he here? Was something wrong back in Salem? Did he want something from him? Because Paul was sure, there wasn't much else he could give him now. He'd given away his heart a long time ago, and surely that was enough.

Dinner was served promptly after the speeches were over with, and as much as Paul hoped that Elena wouldn't see the turmoil within him, she knew him too well.

"Paul, what's wrong?"

He couldn't look at her, otherwise he'd give it all away.

"Paul?" she wheedled, stopping the fork from getting his mouth. "Talk to me, you froze up there and you've been quiet since. What's wrong?"

Paul swallowed around the nerves in his throat, and licked his lips, biting on the bottom one for just a moment. There wasn't much else left to do but be honest.

"Will's here."

There was silence for a few moments, and Paul eyes met Elena's shocked ones. He'd opened up to her about all that had happened, the catalyst that led him to find his home elsewhere.

"Will? Will--the one who went back to his husband after getting his memory back, Will?"

Paul gave a nod and Elena blew out a shocked breath. "Whoa, why is he here?"

"No clue, but I don't want to know."

"What do you mean? Paul, don't be stupid."

Paul turned his lips inwards, at a loss for words. "I'm not being--look, it's obvious he's going to come and talk to me. I just don't know what to say."

"Let's see what happens first, but don't approach him. He's here, on your turf--it's up to him."

"Yeah, sure." It was all sound logic, but Paul didn't feel quite right about it all either.

"Now eat something, schmooze a few more guests and then see what happens, okay? Don't stress out about it, it'll all work out."

Paul let her words comfort him somewhat, giving her a smile in response to ease her worries, but it didn't help to ease the anxiousness thrumming through his body.

Food eaten, and more donors talked to, Paul hadn't even made an attempt to track Will down, and neither had Will. Perhaps he'd left, maybe he'd only wanted a glimpse, who knows? All that Paul knew, was that Will had come tonight and made him feel things he'd told himself he never would. 

Maybe it was the alcohol getting to him, or maybe it was just tiredness, but Paul needed some fresh air and a break from everyone. He needed quiet.

Elena had insisted on sticking with him for the rest of the night, but Paul had finally left her with Ryan and his girlfriend, insisting she find the guy she'd found earlier that night and have some fun.

Paul made it out onto the balcony of the ballroom, closing the doors behind him with a soft click. It was amazing just how much of the noise disappeared with just one door between him and the ballroom. But it meant that he could finally just think, and be with his thoughts.

They were a few stories up and the balcony looked over the sea, the sound of the waves crashing on the beach was the only thing he could hear. The wind was somewhat chilly, but enough to cool him down.

Paul loosened his bow tie, and popped open a button or two of his shirt and his suit jacket, wanting to feel more of that cool breeze. Looking up at the sky, he could see more stars than he ever saw on a normal night, maybe being further away from the city helped with that.

He leant on the stone balcony with his elbows, taking a couple of deep breaths and closing his eyes to take in the stillness. His heart felt heavy, it ached terribly--it'd been a long time since he'd felt it so acutely, but it was fair to say that maybe it had always been there, in the background, never quite disappearing with time as it should.

Possibly that said something about him, but Paul honestly didn't know what to think.

"Hey Paul."

Paul hadn't even realised he wasn't alone anymore, too deep in his head to even anticipate this. He turned his head towards the sound of the voice that had said his name.

"Will--hey."

The smile on his face was a genuine one, no matter how he'd felt earlier. Will looked good, better than good. The hair was the same, his eyes just as beautifully blue as they'd been, and he looked great in his suit. There was some stubble on his cheeks that took away from his youthfulness, but in a good way. But all in all, he hadn't changed much at all.

And neither had Paul, if his heart racing at the sight of Will was any indication.

"Sorry if I disturbed you, I--uh, you looked peaceful and serene, so yeah...sorry," Will stammered out.

Paul couldn't help but laugh a little, leaning against the balcony with his hip instead. Will definitely hadn't changed at all.

"It's fine, you weren't disturbing me."

Will moved a step closer, his arms crossed against his chest. "Oh good, great--how are you though?"

Paul smiled his way. "I'm good, and you?"

"Yeah, not bad," Will scratched at his head, before crossing his arms again with a nervous smile. "You--uh, you look good."

"Thank you, and you too--you look great," Paul replied, honestly. He wasn't going to deny it.

Will laughed nervously this time. "Thanks, uhh--that's not the reason I came out here, to you know, tell you how good you look."

"No?" Paul said amusedly. "It doesn't ever hurt to hear that--it's been a while."

"Do you not get told that anymore?" Will asked.

"Ahh, not so much--I don't get the chance to dress up much. I tend to always be in sports gear, and there's only so long I can tolerate a suit."

Will nodded in agreement with another laugh. "Same here--sometimes the dress code can suck."

"Yeah, it can."

Paul gave Will a good once over, realising that Will didn't look okay, and his concern for him amplified.

"Is everything okay?"

Will took a moment to answer, losing his composure for just a moment. "I don't know, I'm good in general, but right now? Freaking out."

"Would you laugh if I said the same thing?" Paul quipped, earning a huff of a laugh from Will, his flushed cheeks clear to see.

"No, no--not at all. Sorry to just, show up like this. Your speech was amazing by the way, and this whole thing. Just so amazing. I-uh--promise I didn't stalk you or anything. I'm here as a journalist, first and foremost."

"Right." So he wasn't here for him. Why did Paul feel disappointed by that?

"But, umm--I'm not going to lie. Your name as one of the organisers was what made me make the trip."

The flame of hope that had extinguished had flickered back to life.

"I just wanted to see you, but I couldn't just talk to you about this fundraiser. Three years didn't prepare me for this moment, and I don't think I would've ever been ready. I didn't even think this would happen," Will said quietly.

"Think what would happen?"

Will shrugged his shoulders, not quite able to meet his eyes. "I didn't think you'd be willing to talk to me. I thought you'd ignore me completely. I betrayed you, broke your heart."

Paul was confused. Because there was a part of him that could never turn Will away. "Why would you think that?"

"Come on, after everything--you have got to hate me."

"Will," Paul shook his head with a sigh. "I could never hate you. You did what you had to do, and I told you before I left, whatever made you happy was more important to me than anything else. And--if that was Sonny, I couldn't get in the way of that."

"But I wasn't," Will looked close to tears, looking out into the darkness in front of him, "I wasn't happy--I messed up, like I always do."

"Will--" Paul wanted to reach out to comfort him, but that wasn't his place anymore.

"Sonny and I," Will scrubbed a hand through his hair, "we drifted apart. I had my memories back, but we both realised pretty quick that too much time had passed, too much had happened to go back to the way we were."

"So you and Sonny--?"

Will finally looked his way with a watery smile. "No, we're not together anymore. I mean, we're friends and I care for him, and he'll always be Ari's father, but there's nothing like that between us. There won't ever be."

Paul was still trying to process all that he'd heard, words not coming easy, not coming at all.

"It was a mistake, Paul," Will confessed. "The biggest mistake I ever made, letting you go."

Paul was taken back to that night, the night that Will had confessed that his memories were back, and that he was confused and needed to figure out his feelings. But Paul knew what was going to happen, Will would go back to Sonny and finish what had been left on hold.

Will was the love of Sonny's life, and Sonny was Will's.

It was inevitable.

They shared a daughter, and once upon a time they'd shared a marriage. There was no way Paul could stick around and compete with that. He'd had a lifetime of heartbreak to deal with, and this was the last time he'd let himself fall for someone ever again. He was doomed to never be loved, and he'd just have to accept that. So the walls went up, and a fierce determination took its place, masking the pain and hurt that threatened to break him completely.

There had been tears, and one last kiss, but Paul had made his decision by then. He had to leave to save himself.

And so he did.

"Will, I--" Paul whispered, pained.

"Paul," Will interrupted, he'd moved closer, the warmth of his body and the scent of him making Paul want to lean and envelop him in his arms to ease his nervousness. "I don't even know what I'm asking of you here, but all I know is that I missed you, and I thought that maybe--"

"Maybe what?" Paul was tired, the ache in his heart increasing tenfold, and he'd lost his patience. "You thought that you'd come back, and I'll come running back to you. Leave whatever life I've made here and forget what happened? What if I'm with someone? Did you stop to consider that?"

"No, no--I wouldn't do that, but, are you?"

"What?" Paul didn't quite understand what he was asking.

Will scratched at his cheek, scoffing to himself, angry at himself. "God, of course you are with someone, why wouldn't you be. I shouldn't have assumed, you're right. I'm so sorry, this is--inconsiderate of me. I have no right to know."

"No," Paul said, interrupting him this time around, wanting to be truthful. "I'm not with anyone, there's no one, there hasn't really been anyone since--"

He stopped himself from saying anything else, before he admitted more than he'd meant to, no matter how true it was. And he hoped Will hadn't heard him, that he hadn't finished the sentence for himself, but Will's shocked expression was enough to tell him that he'd figured it out.

"Paul," Will said softly. "I know this isn't an easy fix--and you're more than welcome to turn me away. But this feels like unfinished business, doesn't it? You made me feel like a good man," Will's voice broke then, "after everything I'd done--you were happy to accept me as I was. But then I--I messed things up."

"You got your memory back, and you made a choice," Paul told him. "I should've known that before things got serious with us, that you'd always find your way back to Sonny. He was your first love."

"But not my only love."

And if that didn't make Paul's heart skip a beat, he'd be lying.

"Will," and Paul couldn't help himself any longer, he reached out and smoothed a hand down Will's arm, making sure he was looking his way. "You did what you had to do, and so did I. Maybe things worked out the way they had meant to, maybe what we had was all we were meant to have, because I don't regret any of it. Do you?"

"No, I don't regret it--but I just--," Will looked away, chewing on his bottom lip.

"You what, Will?"

This time, Will look determined, fire in his eyes. "I want--I want a chance. You were always the eternal optimist, Paul--you were always the positive one. I know this won't be easy, and I know I took too long to find you--but I wanted to be worthy of you."

Paul's hand, of its own volition, moved to cup Will's cheek, Will leaning into his touch with a soft and shaky sigh. "You don't ever have to prove your worth to me, Will. I'd never asked that of you."

Will covered Paul's hand with his own. "I was scared--I've not done many good things in my life, but you were one of the best things."

There was only so much Paul could say to that, but mostly, he was scared himself. Scared to let himself believe that he and Will could have more, could have everything. Maybe their time had passed too, just like Sonny and Will's had. All Paul knew, right in this moment, was that he couldn't break down those walls just yet.

This was all too much, too fast. If someone had told him that he'd be talking to Will, touching his skin, feeling the warmth of his gaze meeting his, he would've called them a liar. But it was too much for now.

So the only answer was the one that would disappoint them both.

"I don't think we can do this."

The devastation in Will's eyes, on his face, was clear to see. He'd realised what Paul had meant, and the fight had left his body. There was no more convincing to be done.

"Right, I see, th--that's fine."

Will slowly let go of Paul's hand, not before looking down at their joint hands, and minutely shaking his head. Throwing him a weak smile, tears threatening to fall down his flushed cheeks, Will took a step back and away. Paul had to take his own hand back, twisting them together just in case he reached back out for him again.

Will straightened himself up, smoothing a hand through his hair. "I--thank you--thanks for talking to me. It was more than I ever expected. I hope that one day we could be friends?"

Paul nodded, he wasn't ever going to deny Will that. "Of course, always."

"Great, okay--" Will pointed towards the doors that led back inside with an awkward wave, "I think I've taken up enough of your time, and I have an article to write up too. I promise it'll be a good one."

"I don't doubt that, you always were a good journalist."

"Thank you," this time Will's smile was all the more genuine. "Till next time I guess--take care, Paul."

"You too."

Paul let himself look at Will one last time, as he let him walk away for the second time.

Fuck, _fuck_.

Paul turned away and covered his face with his hands, forcing himself to breathe in and out, trying not to curse himself. He didn't know whether what he'd done was the right thing, but it didn't mean he wasn't as devastated as Will had been.

A warm hand on his back brought him back from his racing thoughts, and dropped his hands to find a very worried Elena looking up at him.

"Paul, honey--is everything okay?" It was obvious she'd seen Will leave, and knew that Paul had probably made one of the hardest decisions of his life. Letting someone he loved more than anything just...walk away.

Paul smiled sadly, letting Elena wrap him up in a tight hug. Dropping a kiss to her hair and resting his cheek on her head, he huffed a laugh. "Not really, but I'll have to be."

"I'm so sorry," came the murmured answer from Elena.

"It's okay," Paul whispered, hoping and praying that he would believe his own words. "It'll be okay."

 

***

 

Paul couldn't sleep.

He'd gotten a couple of hours of rest, but it was filled with weird dreams and it was a restless slumber more than anything. He had no idea what the time it was, but he was sure it was early morning, if the light orange hue in the sky was any indication.

After Will had left, Elena had dragged Paul inside and had mothered him until he'd cracked a smile or two. The man she'd found earlier that night had been forgotten, and she'd taken care of him instead.

She truly was the best friend he had ever had.

The fundraiser had run late into the night, and in preparation for that, he'd booked himself a room in the same hotel they'd held the fundraiser. Elena had wanted to stay with him and keep him company, but Paul knew she had to get back to her own mother, as they'd be leaving for a road trip to see her sister the day after.

In any case, there was no way Paul would be able to sleep now, and so he knew there was only one thing he could do to clear his head.

He'd brought along some of his workout gear, and after going through his morning routine, he thought he'd take advantage of being by the sea and go for a run on the beach. He didn't have to check out till ten that morning, so he had all the time in the world to just enjoy where he was.

Headphones in and music on, Paul let his feet pound into the sand, and let the sea air fill his thoughts instead.

Last night he'd let his head overrule his heart. He knew that now.

Maybe he'd been the one who had been too scared, too worried to give them a chance. But now that Will was gone, he felt like the hole that had caved open was making itself known again. Nothing felt right anymore.  

The beach was empty for the early hour, there were some dog walkers and some other runners, but it was a calm and quiet morning nonetheless, perfect for a run.

Paul didn't know how long he'd run for, or how far he'd run, but the vice trapped around his heart loosened when he saw a familiar body sitting on the sand, looking out towards the sea with his arms wrapped around his bent knees.

Will had obviously spent the night in the same hotel or nearby. Maybe he was in the same boat as Paul with his sleepless night, or maybe not, but those butterflies in Paul's stomach made a comeback anyway.

Will hadn't noticed him however, deep in thought but looking beautiful in the early morning sunlight. He was dressed in a hoody and a pair of jeans, barefoot, with his sneakers by his feet. Paul was itching to tuck a wayward strand of Will's hair behind his ear, it was the same bit of hair he'd fix for him in the mornings when they'd wake up together.

Seeing him now only made it all the more clearer just how much he'd missed him. And it was then that he realised he hadn't had the chance to tell him that himself last night.

His heart was saying one thing, and his head another. The echo of dread he'd felt last night after letting Will go was there for a reason.

But this time, Paul knew what he had to do. And maybe it was stupid, maybe it was too hasty.

On the other hand, maybe this was a sign.

Life was about taking risks after all.

Paul closed the distance between them, taking his headphones out of his ears, and stuffed them into his pocket. He sat himself down next to Will, who did a double take when he realised he wasn't alone anymore.

"Oh hey, morning."

"Good morning," Paul said softly, smiling his way. "You couldn't sleep either?"

Will huffed a laugh, and nodded. "Yeah, I tried everything--but I think there was only a couple of hours of sleep in me."

"Yeah, same here."

Will looked away, and looked back at Paul, a myriad of emotions flittering over his face. "I can leave if you like--I don't want to get in your way."

Paul rolled his eyes, nudging his shoulder into Will's, smirking his way. "If I thought you were getting in my way, I wouldn't have come and sat next to you, Will. I don't own this beach, no matter how tempting it is."

Will chuckled in response, turning silent and looking out towards the sea. He'd done his talking last night, and maybe it was now up to Paul to be completely honest, ask what he needed to ask, be sure that he wasn't making a mistake. Paul drew his initial in the sand and then Will's, scrubbing it away with a swipe of his hand, thinking about what to say.

"Three years is a long time, Will."

Will met his eyes and nodded. "Yeah, I know--if I told you it took me this long to gather my courage to come and see you, would you believe me?"

Paul stretched his legs out on the sand, and shrugged. "If it was me, I don't know if I would've been brave enough to come at all. I thought that you'd moved on by now. I only ever talk to my Dad about him and how he is, and I didn't know anything about you other than the fact that you were back with Sonny. I'd never asked, and I didn't want to know."

Will made a noise of agreement. "I--uh, left him about a year after...everything. I wanted to give us a chance, for me and Ari--but being with Sonny made me realise that something was missing, it just didn't feel right to be with him anymore."

Paul held some sand in his hand, and let it run through his fingers. "How did Sonny deal with it?"

Will blew out a breath, a sad smile on his face. "Strangely he was okay with it. I think he realised that it was never going to be the same. And we both accepted that fact pretty quickly--we had kept going for Ari, but we figured out we were both lying to ourselves."

"And he's okay?"

"Yeah, he's good--got a good boyfriend, doing well with work."

"And Ari?"

"She's great," Will grinned brightly with love for his daughter. "She is the best thing, and I love her so much. God, you should see her now--she answers back like she's a teenager already, but she's the sweetest girl."

"She always was," Paul said, grinning back. "And you, what about you? No boyfriend?"

"Ahh no," Will's grin dimmed a little. "I got stuck into work, did some travelling--wrote a bunch of stuff. Didn't have time for any of that."

"I read your articles, kept track of you," Paul admitted. That was one thing he'd allowed himself to do, to be a part of Will's life at a distance this way was better than nothing at all.

Will looked surprised. "You did?"

"Yeah, it was great stuff. That piece about the hospital crisis was hard-hitting. I think you helped start a movement."

Will blushed this time, still unable to take any praise. "Naa, I don't know about that. There were other amazing people who deserve the credit for the movement, I just helped in a small way."

"You don't give _yourself_ enough credit, Will--you never did."

Will made a face. "Yeah, I guess so."

God help him, all Paul wanted to do was wrap Will up in his arms and never let him go. There may have been one night stands, flings, and a relationship or two that lasted only weeks...but nothing, _nothing_ , had ever felt like anything had felt with Will.

Three _whole_ years had gone by, but these three years had only proven just how deeply his love had run. Too much had changed, but so much hadn't. He didn't know whether time would tell them the same, that too much had come to pass for their relationship to last, but Paul couldn't let him go without taking that plunge, not this time.

"Did you mean it?"

Paul hadn't realised that either of them hadn't said a word in a while, letting the sound of the waves enthral them for a moment. And it was him that had broken the silence.

"Did I mean what?" Will asked, baffled.

Paul took a deep breath, not quite able to look at Will.

"That you wanted a chance? With me?"

"Yes, yes--," Will breathed, "God yes, I want that more than anything."

"Look," Paul licked his lips and hunched his shoulders, trying to push away that feeling of dread. "I know how important Sonny was to you and is to you now...he was important to me too once upon a time. But I--I can't do this if there's even a chance you might want to go back to him. Jeez, that sounds so selfish and cruel now that I said it out loud."

"No, no--" Will had turned towards him, legs under him. "No, it's not selfish or cruel--it's reasonable, and you're being truthful. But I promise you, I wouldn't go back--too much has happened, and I'm a different person, and so is he."

"Don't you think too much has changed?" Paul asked honestly, finally looking at Will and the determined zeal on his face.

Will's face broke out into a soft smile. "Maybe it has, I don't know. But I know one thing that's as true as the sand beneath us right now. I love you, I loved you three years ago, and I love you now."

Paul couldn't help but let some doubt creep into his mind, even if Will saying those three words made him feel lighter than air. "Love doesn't fix everything."

"No, it doesn't," Will agreed. "But it sure does help--like I said last night, this is not an easy fix, but we could go at the pace we choose, figure things out our way. I don't want to waste any more time. I want us to be adults about this."

Will was right, too much time had been wasted already. And it didn't make sense to even try when they lived so far apart, but they'd both been through too much to let this go, to let their love go.

"I can't move back to Salem," Paul confessed. "I have a life here that I love, I have friends and a home, and a job that I am finally happy with."

"I know that."

"But what about Ari? She's your priority."

"She is my number one priority and always will be, but she also has three parents who love her. She's not alone and she's so loved--we'll figure it out."

"What about you, and your job?"

Will's mouth twisted into a sly smile. "I'd like to think California could find some space for one more journalist."

Paul was powerless not to smile back, even if the idea sounded too good to be true. "I can't let you give things up for me, Will...I don't want you to resent me. Your daughter needs you. And I know you said I'm an optimist, but what if it doesn't work out?"

This time it was Will who initiated skin to skin contact, holding Paul's face between his hands and urging him to believe him.

"But what if it does? What if it does Paul?"

And what if it did? It was possible that his loveless existence could mean something again, so could he? Should he take that chance?

Allowing his eyes to fall shut, and resting his forehead against Will's, he inhaled shakily, letting the last couple of hours of stress and anxiety seep away. Because this? This feeling of finally feeling grounded and warm and loved and at ease, was something he wasn't going to let slip away from him this time.

And those final walls around his heart came tumbling down.

"Okay," Paul said.

"Okay?"

Paul covered Will's hands on his face with his own, and pulled back a little to smile at him, hoping it said everything it needed to. "Okay--I want to give this a chance. I want to give us a chance."

Will's eyes visibly filled up, hope igniting. "Really?"

"Yeah, really," Paul said laughing happily, swiping away a tear that rolled down Will's cheek with this thumb. He then took both of Will's hands in his, holding on tight, swallowing around the lump in his own throat. "But we have to take it slow, I don't want to mess this up."

"I don't either, I know I hurt you--betrayed you."

"No," Paul said forcefully, making sure Will was paying attention. "You didn't betray me, Will. You did what you had to do. How can I blame you for walking away when you had to figure out who you were all over again? You needed that time, and so did I. Of course it hurt, but I never blamed you for it, not ever."

Will looked at their joint hands and shook his head in disbelief, holding on just as tightly as Paul. "God, I really don't deserve you."

"Well, I kinda love you," Paul said, lifting their joint hands and pressed a kiss to their fingers with a cheesy grin. "So I think we deserve each other. And," he added seriously with an eyebrow raised, "as long as you promise to pay for our first date this time around, I think I'll keep you."

Will burst out laughing, a few tears falling down his cheeks anyway. "You are unbelievable."

Paul dragged Will closer, fixing that wayward bit of hair of Will's hair, and tucked him into his side because he was done not touching him anymore. Smoothing a hand down Will's back and wrapping an arm around his waist, Paul was powerless not to laugh. "Oh hell yeah, didn't you know that already?"

"I knew it--I knew it all along, just took a while to catch up to it," Will said softly, looking up at him with a look of adoration, reverence, and love. Paul wiped away at the wetness on his face with his other hand, and smoothed a thumb over the apple of his cheek.

All Paul wanted to do more than anything was to kiss him, and with a wordless question came the wordless answer.

Paul didn't know who leaned in first, but their first kiss was a soft and sweet one. He could keep kissing Will if forever if he could, but this was enough for now. A kiss full of promise, love, and a future that Paul had thought wouldn't ever cross his path ever again.

Pressing one last kiss to Will's forehead, Paul let his mind and heart settle, wiping at the errant tear that had rolled down his own cheek.

Perhaps it was safe to imagine Will right here, with him, filling his home with his warmth and laughter. Maybe Ari would join them one day, he'd love that. Introducing him to Elena and Ryan would be a scary prospect, but they were a family away from home that were a comfort when he needed them most, and vice versa. Will didn't know what he was letting himself in for, but if his courage to be here was any indication, Paul knew he'd be up for a challenge.

God, Paul's mind was running away with him, but he couldn't help himself.

The future had become clearer, _their_ future.

And of course, they had so much to figure out and so much to talk about because this wasn't going to be easy. But this was only the start, and as long as they stuck it out, Paul knew that they'd make it through.

"So, how long can you stay for?" he asked after a long moment of just revelling in their closeness as they watched the sun rise.

Will tucked himself even closer into Paul, and sighed, his fingers curling into Paul's t-shirt. "I have to check out of the hotel today, because I hadn't wanted to assume. But--I could stay longer if you want?"

"I'd like that," Paul said. "You can stay with me, but I won't expect anything--I promise. I have a spare bedroom."

"I know you don't expect anything." Will brought Paul's face down to kiss him again, once, then twice. "Thank you though, and I promise I won't take advantage of you either," he said with a smirk, brushing their noses together. "Slow and steady, right?"

Paul nodded, the smile on his face making his cheeks ache, but it was worth it. It was all so worth it.

"Yeah, slow and steady."

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr [HERE](http://babblingbhumzi.tumblr.com/), and you are also more than welcome to send along prompts my way! I'd be happy to give them a go. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!! ♥


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